


Dance With The Devil.

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [215]
Category: 10 Billion Wives (Video Game), NTverse, nonfandom
Genre: Badly Written, Confusing, Crack Taken Seriously, F/M, Satanism, fluff???, kind of weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-20 22:52:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15543936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: An ordinary man accidentally bumps into Satan one day when trying to help a woman escape from three armed pursuers.





	Dance With The Devil.

**Author's Note:**

> Note to self- please, never write weird fanfiction while listening to Theory of a Deadman at 1am ever again.
> 
> ^^^ 
> 
> This trashy oneshot is a result of me not following the above note to self.

Heavy footsteps and muffled shouts echoed through the streets where a young man walked. His name was John Clive, and he was a man with a lot of potential. Fresh out of naval academy and itching for adventure, his heart lay amongst the high seas. 

John wasn’t the type who would pass by such sounds in the street without trying to find their source. That was why he ended up following the noise, curious and a little worried as to what they might be. As he drew closer still, he heard the faint cry of a woman. John picked up the pace upon realising someone might be in danger, racing round the street corner towards the alley where the sounds were coming from.

He stopped just short of the alley and peered into it cautiously, making sure no one saw him. He wouldn’t intervene unless something was actually going on.

There were four people in the alley. Three were men about John’s age dressed all in white. They had quite a strange appearance- their clothing almost seemed to be shining, and there was some sort of cape on each of their backs which kind of looked like it was made from pure white feathers. All three had shining golden hair, but the one in the centre had two tiny pink spheres connected by a piece of elastic to hold up a small portion of his hair. John felt like that was something only little girls ( ~~or Mayu Suzumoto~~ ) did to their hair, but he wasn’t one to judge.

The fourth person in the alley was a stark contrast to the men cornering her. She looked a few years older than them, although it was hard to tell due to her face and body being mostly obscured by the men. From what John could see, the woman’s hair was long and black, while she wore a grey dress which was slightly torn at the edges. On closer inspection, her dress appeared to be made up many different shades of grey which changed whenever she moved.

“-not doing anything wrong here. I haven’t sinned, I haven’t tried to make contact with my brother, I’m definitely not trying to return to Heaven! Please, just let me go and you’ll never see me again!” The woman was saying, a staccato of desperation ringing in her voice. The man with the Mayu-balls shrugged.

“You know it isn’t up to us. And besides, you’re the Prince of Darkness. Why should we listen to you?” Oddly enough, the man seemed to be on the verge of laughter as he spoke, with a sarcastic tone to every word. 

“Oh come on Gabriel, surely you don’t believe all that ‘Prince of Darkness’ garbage? I mean, look at me! Do I look like a prince to you?” John found he too had to suppress a laugh at that. She most certainly didn’t look like a prince, and ‘Gabriel’ clearly knew it.

“As I said, it isn’t up to me.” Gabriel managed to keep his voice even that time. John’s eyes were drawn to the three men again, and he almost gasped when he realised their feather capes were actually what appeared to be replica wings. He watched in a mixture of shock and fascination as the wings twitched and fluttered with each slight movement of their owners.

“Lord Gabriel,” one of the other men said quietly, “Should we apprehend her?” 

“Of course we should! What are you, an idiot? God, what are those machines doing these days? You know, when I was created angels actually did shit!” Gabriel snapped. He looked like he might have a tension headache starting. The ‘angel’ (John had started to wonder if they were actors in some kind of movie, although he didn’t see any cameras around) he had been scolding awkwardly nodded and drew a sword from his glowing robes to face the woman.

“Ready for another thousand years, Luce?” John decided he preferred the name ‘Mayu-balls’ over Gabriel. How a random man stalking strangers in an alley in the year 1927 knew what Corpse Party was is beyond me- just roll with it, mm’kay? So yeah. Mayu-balls advanced on ‘Luce’ with another sword drawn. The third, so-far silent ‘angel’ also drew a weapon.

“You don’t have to whip your swords out, boys. I’m unarmed, considering I came here _peacefully_.” Luce sounded like she was about to scream the last word, but held back at the last minute. Mayu-balls tutted before swinging his sword at her. She yelped and drew back, glaring at him indignantly. It was then that John realised he should probably be stepping in. This seemed less like a movie scene and more like some weird cult’s ritual sacrifice.

“Everything alright here?” He asked casually upon stepping into the alley. The ‘angels’ whipped round, hurriedly tucking away their swords as if he hadn’t already noticed them.

“Y-yes, of course. We’re just practising our lines... for a play.” One of the angel goons nervously stuttered out. Mayu-balls glared at him sharply, possibly about to murder him in front of everyone. Suddenly, Luce darted past the startled angels and grabbed onto John’s arm. 

“Oh, darling! It’s so good to see you! I thought you weren’t due to be back for another night?” Luce smiled warmly, while John just gaped at her. He caught on to what she was playing at when she winked at him a little too harshly as if to say ‘ _Play along or I’m dead_ ’.

“Well actually, the storm lasted a day less than we predicted, so we were able to dock early. I was going to surprise you, but I guess there’s no point now.” The naval recruit hoped he didn’t sound too fake. He had no idea if the angels would believe this or not, especially since Luce hadn’t been playing dumb just minutes ago, but he supposed that wasn’t the point of her act.

“Aw, really? Oh well- you found out my surprise early too. These lovely gentlemen,” She gestured to the angels, “Are my co-stars! We’re rehearsing for a play in town later this week. It’s based on the Holy War from the book of Revelation, or at least our crazy director’s interpretation of it.” Luce was an amazing actress, John realised as he watched her play along with the angel goon’s terrible lie. She even rolled her eyes and sighed in the right places when referring to the director she clearly disliked.

“You finally got a part? I’m so proud of you!” John acted on impulse, hurriedly pulling the strange woman into a hug, “Are these men bothering you?” He whispered quickly into her ear while holding her. When they pulled apart, she nodded with a wide smile.

“I know! I couldn’t believe it to be honest, what with all of the times I’ve failed auditions for things like this. But it really happened!” Suddenly Luce was a little too close to him. John felt his cheeks heating up at her proximity, “Do you want to know which part I play?” She asked, voice low and almost husky. She didn’t seem to be playing along anymore. John awkwardly nodded.

Before Luce could speak, however, Mayu-balls cleared his throat loudly. “Excuse me, could you maybe save the happy reunion for later? We only have days until this performance and _this_ one,” he poked the angel who had come with that stupid excuse a little too roughly, “Still doesn’t know his lines.” 

“Actually, I might head off now Gabe. Tell Yahweh I had important business to attend to. Oh, and send my regards to Michael! It’s a shame he couldn’t attend our rehearsal today. I hope he’s feeling well,” Luce tried to smile at the group, but it came out as more of a smirk, “Ciao.” She said lightly before grabbing John’s hand and breaking into a sprint round the corner and into the street.

The pair only stopped running when they were far away from the alley. They ended up collapsing behind a tree at the edge of the woods just outside town, breathless and filled with relieved laughter. Once they’d caught their breaths, they sat together behind the tree and tried to calm down a little.

“Thank you so much for playing along there! I was honestly terrified you’d call me crazy and leave.” Luce eventually said with a genuine smile. John returned it, feeling oddly warm in her presence. 

“Of course not! As a rule, I always try to help anyone who needs it.” He replied earnestly.

“That’s a pretty good rule,” Luce’s voice was low and sweet, with a slight accent John couldn’t name. He looked at her full on for the first time, and realised with a start that her eyes were bright red with no visible pupils or sclerae, “Wish everyone followed it.” 

“Who are you?” John asked without thinking. Luce met his eyes, then hurriedly looked away as if she hadn’t expected him to be looking at her.

“You won’t believe me,” He was about to object, but she continued anyway, “But whatever, I’ll be taking my leave soon anyway. So, I’m Lucifer, nice to meet you, and the moron you just saved me from is the Archangel Gabriel.” There was a slight note of sarcasm on each of Lucifer’s words which John liked. Clearly Satan had a sense of humour. 

“So you’re Satan.” He said, because she was. Honestly, John was so shell-shocked by everything he’d just seen that he was seriously considering believing her.

“Yup,” She paused, glancing around the tree as if to check for any angelic pursuers, “It’s not as bad as you’d think, actually. Yahweh’s worshippers spread all kinds of weird rumours about me, but very few of them are actually true. I mean, have you read the Bible lately? I’m mentioned 156 times. Or, 54 or something, no one really knows. Either way, the majority of times I’m mentioned it’s either as a noun or a metaphor. Hell isn’t even in the Old Testament!”

“What are you talking about?” John didn’t want to interrupt her, but she seemed to be getting off track.

“Ah, sorry. I’m not a fan of the way I’m portrayed in the human world, as you can tell. Anyway, the reason for me being here at all is that today I managed to successfully open a portal between Hell and Earth for the first time ever. There was one between Heaven and Hell, of course, but Yahweh closed it and I don’t care to re-open it. Hell and Earth, thought? Never been done!”

“Why do you need a portal to Earth?” John wondered if perhaps there was a chance this woman and the men with her before were all on some kind of narcotic overdose. That would make much more sense than what Lucifer was talking about then. But at the same time, there was something about the way she spoke which made him think she might be telling the truth.

“Because of my subjects. You see, contrary to what the Bible will tell you on the off-chance it _does_ mention me, I don’t really associate with humans at all. My one role is to look after those who enter my kingdom. We call it Hell, but it’s more like the Mexican afterlife, the Land of the Dead, in my opinion. No matter who you are or what you’ve done, you’ll end up there when you die. And now, my subjects can return to Earth to visit their families one night a year!” Lucifer seemed disheartened about that. John frowned, taking her one hundred percent seriously for the first time that day.

“You wanted it to be open ever day, didn’t you?” His voice was soft when he spoke to her. She looked up, avoiding his eyes again, and nodded slowly.

“I’ve tried everything I can, but my magic isn’t strong enough to make it a permanent portal. It will stay open today, then close for a year, according to our calculations. By ‘we’ I mean the other angels and I. You’d probably know us as demons.”

“W-wow... I never imagined you would be like this.” John didn’t know what else to say. What _did_ one say when a female Satan dragged them into the woods to start lamenting about her portal troubles? 

“Why would you? Most humans believe me to be a red, muscular satyr. And male, no less! But sorry. I forget how annoying it is to find everything people know about you is completely wrong. This is why I try not to talk about religion with any humans I meet. It’s all so... complicated.” Luce sighed, defeated.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it. I’d be pretty mad too if I found out everyone thought I was some awful monster when actually I’m a normal guy.” 

“I know, right?” Luce laughed weakly, leaning back against the tree trunk, “Oh, that’s right! I never got your name. Sorry about that.” She smiled sheepishly. John decided he liked her smile more than her frown.

“I’m Clive. John Clive,” He then quickly added, “But you can call me John, if you’d like.” 

“It’s nice to meet you formally John. You can call me Lucifer, or Luci if you’d rather use a more normal name. I’ve always hated ‘Satan’.” Luci seemed like she was about to complain more, but quickly stopped herself. John wondered when the last time she’d had a proper conversation with someone was. 

“Alright then. I... suppose we’re acquainted now?”

“I suppose so.” Luci looked at him properly that time, letting her gaze linger for a few seconds before averting her eyes again.

“Hey... do you want to maybe leave this forest and go get something to eat? I don’t know if you exactly _can_ eat, but there’s a coffee shop down the road who do really good Victoria sponge if you can.” Lucifer laughed again at John’s awkward rambling, but this time he found himself laughing too.

“I’d love to. Although you’re right; I can’t eat. But I’d still like to find out what a coffee shop is and what it smells like.” 

“Smells?” John raised an eyebrow, and Luci blushed.

“That’s not a normal thing to say, is it?” He shook his head slowly, “Thought so. Sorry, I’m not very good at acting like a human.”

“Well... I could show you some things, if you’d like.” John had decided by then that he was going to befriend this mysterious woman, whether she was a cult member, a drug addict or actually Satan. He quite liked her, even though she seemed to be some degree of crazy, and he wanted to know more about her.

“At the coffee shop?” Luci seemed genuinely intrigued by that. Probably because she didn’t know what a coffee shop was.

“At the coffee shop.” John repeated, rising to his feet. Luci quickly followed suit.

“I think the angels will have gone by now. They can’t stay in one place for long.” She said after scanning the immediate area.

“Then let’s go.” John headed out of the forest, looking behind him quickly to make sure Luci was following. Fortunately, she was.

*

And that was the meeting which started a huge chain of events leading up to the crumbling downfall of everything these people thought they knew. But for now, it was just a human and an angel walking along the street, trying to figure out what exactly was happening to them.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry you ended up reading that.
> 
> It started as a serious attempt to write a good oneshot, and ended up with a very tired author-chan just trying to finish her oneshot she’s writing two days late at 1am.
> 
> Mayu Suzumoto is a character from the video game series/film/manga???/anime Corpse Party. For some reason, I feel like the Archangel Gabriel would have those balls she has in her hair. Look her up if you don’t get what I mean, because I don’t either tbh. Just don’t look past the first few images, because I guarantee you there will be many disturbing images of her corpse further on than that.
> 
> Prompt- Angel Wife.
> 
> Lucifer is technically an angel, right? I wanted to twist the prompt around a little~
> 
> Original Number- 307.


End file.
